Accommodate, Adjust, Adapt ..the way

As i see around

….From times immemorial it is the ability to accommodate, adjust, adapt which is at the forefront of development..even the Darwin theory was ..the fittest survived .To be the fittest ..one has to accommodate, adapt, adjust .Be it a city, be it a human being, be it a machine..be it a relationship.

A relationship requires a person to accommodate to the changing circumstances, adapt to the habits and behavior, and adapt to keep the relationship going on.

A city has to go through the same and accommodate the changing demographics, adjust to the behaviour and adapt to the expectations of its seemingly “intelligent, civilized” population. A machine, a mobile is successful only because it is continuously adapting itself till it becomes personalized..

When there is so much of accommodating, adjusting, adapting why do people still like actions and people who rebel- an Aamir Khan who boycotts functions, a Salman Khan who does not need social institutions to prove his acceptance and popularity.

 Even though evolution, education, societal norms makes more prototypes (that is why companies choose similar groups of behavior patterns..programs most watched..high TVRs/clothes more popular/social norms, accepted behavior that the majority of people accept) -Why would we let go of individuality?

Why does being accepted mean that one has to adjust and adapt once own way of thinking?

Maybe one can accommodate, adapt, adjust most things but not the individuality of what you are ..be it a human being, a city or a historical representation.

Adapt and adjust ..accomodate for reasons known to you..but to loose yourself  till you know no more what you were ; and you do not recognize the face in the mirror ….

….maybe this is not the way ..for years afterwards ..you would look in the rear view mirror and think ..of what you left behind. Take care..

Temper

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.

Moral : Make sure you control your words and temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later, even if you forget..the scars would have remained.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror ....

This is a great reflective poem, it goes ...

"The good you find in others, is in you too. 

The faults you find in others, are your faults as well. 

After all, to recognize something you must know it. 

The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you, is your beauty.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are. 

To change your world, you must change yourself. To blame and complain will only make matters worse. Whatever you care about, is your responsibility.

What you see in others, shows you yourself. 

See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give to yourself. 

Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative. 

Love, and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood.

Listen, and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn. 

Show your best face to the mirror, and you'll be happy with the face looking back at you ~

long lasting love

As i see around ,read observe  people, irrespective of relationships... i collate a possible list of what could be lead long lasting love between any 2 people ..

long lasting love = not only commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication but also possibly a sum of

• 1.       a certain look which sets the pulse racing
• 2.       to be still able to have fun and share a laugh
• 3.       ability to have/ spark some spontaneous good times
• 4.       enjoy simply being together. 
• 5.       there are surprises
• 6.       there is understanding of each other’s need for space to be one-self
• 7.       there is sharing of chores..but more of ideas, thoughts, dreams, desires
• 8.       there is forgiveness
• 9.       there is sensitivity to be moved by the small emotions of life we see around
• 10.   there is faith in god, in each other and the goodness of humanity, of hope
• 11.   finally, there is knowing of each other’s habits. 

i guess love lasts because it is comfortable and simple ; if it is real, the heart will make it plain and simple.

defining independence

 Independence is considered a positive attribute to strive towards. But if you ask people to define independence, you may find that many have trouble explaining , it seems that for many it is a  concept. 

Independence can be divided up into different categories of independence. The main categories are: Mental Independence, Behavioural Independence and Survival-based Independence.

1.) Mental Independence
An important distinction exists between independent thinking and rebellious thinking. Rebelling against someone else’s ideas means that you purposefully take the exact opposite stance to someone’s ideas, and so their ideas are ultimately controlling yours.

Mental independence is being able to think for yourself, regardless of what others think and say. It involves accessing your internal resources, listening to your inner voice, weighing up all the facts and feelings you’ve accumulated, and forming opinions based on this. Mental independence is the basis of independent thinking, independent decision-making, and leads to independent actions and behaviour.

2.) Behavioural Independence
Independent behaviour is partly based on mental independence, because it is only after you can think independently, that you can make independent choices in life from what to eat, to what you choose to do for a living. In other words, mental independence enables you to act independently.
Behavioural independence also involves freedom from control or influence of others.

3.) Survival-based Independence

The ultimate point of independence is being equipped to look after yourself to enable your successful survival. In our world, this means:

• - Financial independence: This involves earning money ourselves to allow us to buy food and pay for shelter
• - Safety-related Independence: This involves knowing how to maintain your safety, how to avoid dangerous situations and how to handle them if they occur.
• - Self-care-related Independence: This entails knowing how to look after yourself to maintain your good health and fitness, and taking care of all your needs, including social ones-self-care is having a healthy social life,group interdependence.
• Being independent does not mean living a solitary life and never asking for help. Asking for help only becomes dependence if one person uses the other without the intention of giving anything back. Dependence also occurs when a person lacks the intention of learning to become self-sufficient.

..anonymous source 

soldier..soldiering on

a soldier possibly is someone who walks on because of his faith/responsibilities/irrespective for a bigger cause than his own/without support ..just walks on and on..so any one who represents the same ..this anonymous poem is for the person

The soldier stood and faced God,Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,just as brightly as his brass.

'Step forward now, you soldier,How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?'

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,for the judgment of his God.

'Step forward now, you soldier,You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,You've done your time in Hell.'

Author Unknown~

forever song ..

some songs remain forever ..everytime one sees it , hears it ..touches a chord ..uploading for eternity..for all who love to express with music ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWDPrEn-IbI&feature=related

Every night in my dreams 
I see you. I feel you. 
That is how I know you go on. 

Far across the distance 
And spaces between us 
You have come to show you go on. 

Near, far, wherever you are 
I believe that the heart does go on 
Once more you open the door 
And you're here in my heart 
And my heart will go on and on 

Love can touch us one time 
And last for a lifetime 
And never go till we're one 

Love was when I loved you 
One true time I hold to 
In my life we'll always go on 

Near, far, wherever you are 
I believe that the heart does go on 
Once more you open the door 
And you're here in my heart 
And my heart will go on and on 

There is some love that will not 
go away 

You're here, there's nothing I fear, 
And I know that my heart will go on 
We'll stay forever this way 
You are safe in my heart 
And my heart will go on and on ...

The Pencil..leaves a mark...

A disciple was watching the master  write a letter. At one point  the disciple asked:

‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’
The master stopped writing the letter and said :I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’Intrigued, the disciple looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.

‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’

‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’

1. ‘First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.’
2. ‘Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person
3. ‘Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’
4. • Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’
5. ‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action

Moral : Reality is dreamt before it is defined in action ..always , repeatedly..dream well

My-Dream , time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including My-Dream. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left.  Except for My-Dream.

My-Dream was the only one who stayed. My-Dream wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, My-Dream decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by My-Dream in a grand boat. My-Dream said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

My-Dream decided to ask Youthful-Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Youthful-Vanity, please help me!""I can't help you, My-Dream. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Youthful-Vanity answered. Sadness was close by so My-Dream asked, "Sadness, let me go with you.""Oh . . . My-Dream, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"Happiness passed by My-Dream, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when My-Dream called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, My-Dream, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, My-Dream even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, My-Dream asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered."Time?" asked My-Dream. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable My-Dream is.

Moral :

The best beginnings of our lives ,may sometimes end in sorrow ;but even on our darkest days ,the sun will shine .So we must do our very best ,whatever life may bring ;look beyond the winter chill .

Although the cares of life are great ,hands are bowed so low ;the storms of life will leave behind ,the wonder of a rainbow. The years will never take away ,our chance to start anew ;

It's only the beginning now , So My-Dreams can still come true.

the fountainhead

I read the book long back and again read it in the last few weeks ..wanted to try and capture the essence of the book..very difficult , but i tried ..a lot of you might not read this completely ,but some might ..only read it if you have patience and time ..anyway , i wanted to write it ..

Fountainhead weaves the main characters around the philosophy of objectivism, which even now several consider as a radical philosophy. The novel is about how individualism is a corner stone of human life .The novel revolves around the central character Howard Roarke his struggle in system defined world ruled by collectivism and the heroine Dominique.

There are 3 more characters. .shall write about them first , they are around this world in plenty..

• Ellsworth Toohey who is a columnist and a cheat. He represents people who want to rule the mob but using means of inducing guilts, altruism, degrading self respect and promoting mob thinking.

• Peter Keating needs somebody to help him make decisions as he is always unsure. His insecurity leads him to committing sins as he moves on the ladder of success, he ruthlessly tramples on many people to reach his objective.

• Gail Wyand , who is media baron and pulls the string. He sells and creates news , what people want to read . Interestingly what he sells in news papers is applicable today too, People even today love masala .Ironically in novel he runs two ads on his front page. One requested readers to donate money for broke scientist who is trying to invent some phenomenal thing while another ad does requested readers to donate money for an unmarried pregnant lady whose boyfriend was goon and gets killed by police. People respond to both requests. Scientist gets hundred odd dollars , while the lady gets thousand dollars . News today is forced to sell masalas , scandals and such stuffs because they sell easily .
  

For Howard his work is his passion and he feels most committed to do what is right in his work. His motivation for working and living is his own ego, and he practically ignores the ideas of others. Roark has a self-confidence that Dominique finds irresistible. He inspires confidence and fear in people because they know he is right and he will not stop till he has completed his tasks, he has a lot of followers .Even then the mercurial world is sometimes too happy to celebrate the fall of a hero, and he gives up power and riches for what he felt was correct –for they all feared his ideas. Completely unpretentious by nature, he neither humbles nor gratifies himself. His work speaks for him. He is neither driven by compliments nor is flattered by a compliment. He does not feel too much a part of the mercurial world and its celebrations and idle chatter. 

However, the world around him misinterprets the ego and therefore fears it for they know it will succeed .He remembers and misses Dominique.Dominique is his mirror ego .They found each other by chance, attracted by a supernatural force, move together, love each other which brings a lot of pleasure and also brings pain , they walk separate paths for a while and are pulled back together. She understands his potential and the power they can create together.

Dominique recognizes man's capacity for achievement, and this is the only thing she loves. Because she reveres man at his highest and best, she loathes most members of the human race, who fall below man's potential and are non-performers. When she sees the manipulative Peter Keatings, the power-hungry Ellsworth Tooheys, and the masses that prefer Keating's work to Roark's, it fills her with despair. She is committed to the facts, to truth, to her mind's most honest judgment — not to the opinions of others. Dominique is a thinker. The willingness to think for herself is what enables and demonstrates that though independence is not a guarantee of arriving at the truth, it provides an individual with a self-regulating method.

Their relation is quiet complex one which starts with instant attraction and instinct, becomes intense, proceeds with seeking power on different roads. They are afar but their thoughts and actions are similar, though they pursue it differently, and finally they come together and the relation evolves into soul mates. 

In the end Howard Roark triumphs, with Dominique by his side standing at the top of the masterpiece he designed.

The novel usually jolts people who feel the idea or philosophy behind the book, Objectivism. But as one thinks deeply and rationally it makes perfect sense. The influence of the social herd clouds the identity, as does the normally divided mind of man.We associate with the most convenient acceptable human ,social form. Only when we seek the deeper consciousness within, do we move to the wider truth.When we look at history, it is those people who challenged big objectives and progressed on their path regardless of who was with them charted the progress of humanity to a better future. Charles Darwin, Galileo, Isaac Newton, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Bill Gates, Gorbachev, are some of the examples.

giving love

One day a young boy was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart . There was not a mark or a flaw in it. The young boy was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an middle aged man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."The crowd and the young man looked at the man's heart. It was beating strongly ... but full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in ... but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges.

In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared ... how could he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young boy looked at the middle aged man and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said.

 "Compare your heart with  mine ...mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the man, "Yours is perfect looking ... but I would never trade with you. 


You see, every scar   represents  each occasion I gave my love to someone  I loved..... I tore out a piece of my heart and gave it... and often i would get back me a piece of  her heart which fits into the empty place in my heart ... but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away ... and the other person hasn't returned a piece of heart to me. These are the empty gouges ... giving love is taking a chance.

Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have had and maybe still have ….and I hope someday it may  be returned and fill the space . So now do you see what true beauty is?"

Moral: Humans change as time, situation changes . Only few want to remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations ...


Never take someone for granted .Hold dear persons close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones. For life is queer with its twists and turns as everyone of us learns ...for time and tide wait for none ...

The rose

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. 

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died. 

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves , our situation and see only the thorns, the defects. 

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential. 

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. That someone who constantly knows "the rose in you " along with the thorns is important .... One of the greatest blessings a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them. 

This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose and fragrance " within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

Moral : Time and tide change ..never let the good in you be washed away , because it took time ..difficult but that is what makes a rose a rose ...