Accommodate, Adjust, Adapt ..the way

As i see around

….From times immemorial it is the ability to accommodate, adjust, adapt which is at the forefront of development..even the Darwin theory was ..the fittest survived .To be the fittest ..one has to accommodate, adapt, adjust .Be it a city, be it a human being, be it a machine..be it a relationship.

A relationship requires a person to accommodate to the changing circumstances, adapt to the habits and behavior, and adapt to keep the relationship going on.

A city has to go through the same and accommodate the changing demographics, adjust to the behaviour and adapt to the expectations of its seemingly “intelligent, civilized” population. A machine, a mobile is successful only because it is continuously adapting itself till it becomes personalized..

When there is so much of accommodating, adjusting, adapting why do people still like actions and people who rebel- an Aamir Khan who boycotts functions, a Salman Khan who does not need social institutions to prove his acceptance and popularity.

 Even though evolution, education, societal norms makes more prototypes (that is why companies choose similar groups of behavior patterns..programs most watched..high TVRs/clothes more popular/social norms, accepted behavior that the majority of people accept) -Why would we let go of individuality?

Why does being accepted mean that one has to adjust and adapt once own way of thinking?

Maybe one can accommodate, adapt, adjust most things but not the individuality of what you are ..be it a human being, a city or a historical representation.

Adapt and adjust ..accomodate for reasons known to you..but to loose yourself  till you know no more what you were ; and you do not recognize the face in the mirror ….

….maybe this is not the way ..for years afterwards ..you would look in the rear view mirror and think ..of what you left behind. Take care..

Temper

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.

Moral : Make sure you control your words and temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later, even if you forget..the scars would have remained.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror ....

This is a great reflective poem, it goes ...

"The good you find in others, is in you too. 

The faults you find in others, are your faults as well. 

After all, to recognize something you must know it. 

The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you, is your beauty.

The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are. 

To change your world, you must change yourself. To blame and complain will only make matters worse. Whatever you care about, is your responsibility.

What you see in others, shows you yourself. 

See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give to yourself. 

Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative. 

Love, and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood.

Listen, and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn. 

Show your best face to the mirror, and you'll be happy with the face looking back at you ~

long lasting love

As i see around ,read observe  people, irrespective of relationships... i collate a possible list of what could be lead long lasting love between any 2 people ..

long lasting love = not only commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication but also possibly a sum of

• 1.       a certain look which sets the pulse racing
• 2.       to be still able to have fun and share a laugh
• 3.       ability to have/ spark some spontaneous good times
• 4.       enjoy simply being together. 
• 5.       there are surprises
• 6.       there is understanding of each other’s need for space to be one-self
• 7.       there is sharing of chores..but more of ideas, thoughts, dreams, desires
• 8.       there is forgiveness
• 9.       there is sensitivity to be moved by the small emotions of life we see around
• 10.   there is faith in god, in each other and the goodness of humanity, of hope
• 11.   finally, there is knowing of each other’s habits. 

i guess love lasts because it is comfortable and simple ; if it is real, the heart will make it plain and simple.

defining independence

 Independence is considered a positive attribute to strive towards. But if you ask people to define independence, you may find that many have trouble explaining , it seems that for many it is a  concept. 

Independence can be divided up into different categories of independence. The main categories are: Mental Independence, Behavioural Independence and Survival-based Independence.

1.) Mental Independence
An important distinction exists between independent thinking and rebellious thinking. Rebelling against someone else’s ideas means that you purposefully take the exact opposite stance to someone’s ideas, and so their ideas are ultimately controlling yours.

Mental independence is being able to think for yourself, regardless of what others think and say. It involves accessing your internal resources, listening to your inner voice, weighing up all the facts and feelings you’ve accumulated, and forming opinions based on this. Mental independence is the basis of independent thinking, independent decision-making, and leads to independent actions and behaviour.

2.) Behavioural Independence
Independent behaviour is partly based on mental independence, because it is only after you can think independently, that you can make independent choices in life from what to eat, to what you choose to do for a living. In other words, mental independence enables you to act independently.
Behavioural independence also involves freedom from control or influence of others.

3.) Survival-based Independence

The ultimate point of independence is being equipped to look after yourself to enable your successful survival. In our world, this means:

• - Financial independence: This involves earning money ourselves to allow us to buy food and pay for shelter
• - Safety-related Independence: This involves knowing how to maintain your safety, how to avoid dangerous situations and how to handle them if they occur.
• - Self-care-related Independence: This entails knowing how to look after yourself to maintain your good health and fitness, and taking care of all your needs, including social ones-self-care is having a healthy social life,group interdependence.
• Being independent does not mean living a solitary life and never asking for help. Asking for help only becomes dependence if one person uses the other without the intention of giving anything back. Dependence also occurs when a person lacks the intention of learning to become self-sufficient.

..anonymous source 

soldier..soldiering on

a soldier possibly is someone who walks on because of his faith/responsibilities/irrespective for a bigger cause than his own/without support ..just walks on and on..so any one who represents the same ..this anonymous poem is for the person

The soldier stood and faced God,Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining,just as brightly as his brass.

'Step forward now, you soldier,How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?'

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.
Because those of us who carry guns,Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I've been violent,Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime,When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly,for the judgment of his God.

'Step forward now, you soldier,You've borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,You've done your time in Hell.'

Author Unknown~

forever song ..

some songs remain forever ..everytime one sees it , hears it ..touches a chord ..uploading for eternity..for all who love to express with music ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWDPrEn-IbI&feature=related

Every night in my dreams 
I see you. I feel you. 
That is how I know you go on. 

Far across the distance 
And spaces between us 
You have come to show you go on. 

Near, far, wherever you are 
I believe that the heart does go on 
Once more you open the door 
And you're here in my heart 
And my heart will go on and on 

Love can touch us one time 
And last for a lifetime 
And never go till we're one 

Love was when I loved you 
One true time I hold to 
In my life we'll always go on 

Near, far, wherever you are 
I believe that the heart does go on 
Once more you open the door 
And you're here in my heart 
And my heart will go on and on 

There is some love that will not 
go away 

You're here, there's nothing I fear, 
And I know that my heart will go on 
We'll stay forever this way 
You are safe in my heart 
And my heart will go on and on ...